What a fucking joke you’ve become FC. Years ago, when you were railing against Canon for all their idiotic blunders and cover-ups, I used to think you had something going for you. But now you’re just a useless Canon fanboy like all the rest. Get over the D800 already; it ate Canon’s lunch and shat it out long ago, and anyone who isn’t a fanboy fucktard is fully aware of this fact.

Let it be know that I hate Nikon with a passion and I always have. For a brief moment (from 1999 to about 2007), I mistaken thought Canon was totally different than Nikon, but the last 5 years have shown me that Canon is just as fucked as Nikon and we really shouldn’t give either of these cocksucking losers our business.

But in spite of my deep hatred of Nikon, I don’t let emotions get in the way of facts. I spent 4 years shooting with the 5D2, and honestly is was the best Canon ever achieved. Aside from the fact it was a plastic piece-of-shit that lacked AF and suffered from horrible banding in the shadows, there was nothing wrong it. But I’ve spent the past two months shooting with the D800E and there is simply no comparison to anything Canon had, has, or has on the way; the images the D800E produces are simply superior in every respect to anything Canon is capable of.

And no, you can’t use shitty 3MP Canon point-and-shoot photographic technique to get 36MP worth of detail. What you’re latest cartoon is really telling us is that you don’t have to worry about getting sharp images on a Canon body because there are so few pixels on the sensor that shitty technique and shitty lenses have no effect at all. Seriously, why even bother, just use a fucking iPhone instead, it has as much resolution as 1DX, doesn’t it?

So you can be a fanboy if you want, and continue to rant on and on about how Nikon sucks gree donkey dicks and how Canon cameras are hand crafted by Jesus Christ himself, but the sad reality is that nobody believes your company-line bullshit anymore because the evidence simply doesn’t support it, and to anyone who cares to actually look, this is blatantly obvious. Canon licks hairy nut sacks (and so does Nikon). Fuck them all, but I’m shooting with my D800E, thank you very much.

As if the 5D3 wasn’t enough of a kick in nuts (gee, let’s take the 5-year-old 5D2, add a semi-usable AF module, then jack the price $1000 – that’s innovation for you), now we have the rumor that Canon’s next camera is going to be a crippled version of the 5D3. What the fuck? I guess what that means is that Canon’s next great creation will be the 5D2 all over again, but at a higher price. Well isn’t that special. And maybe they’ll take that fucking flimsy-ass plastic piece-of-shit 50/1.4 and add a “II” to the end of it and jack its price by $500 too, all the while doing nothing whatsoever to the optics or AF module.

I’m sorry, Canon has become as much of a fucking joke as you have. Fuck Canon. Fuck Nikon. Fuck y’all ignorant motherfuckers. Have a nice day.